Unbricked! Here's some context/advice for anyone trying to do the same. If you purchased a cheapo STLINK V2 from Amazon as I did. Picture below...
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$0 Fix:
What may very well happen to ya, is the RESET pin doesn't work. In this case you will need a friend. With said friend, you must dilligently connect to the board using Under Reset Mode and Hardware Reset. The second your homie clicks the connect button, you, the bricker of the board must move your jumper cable from the RESET pin which is 3.3V to an open Ground, leave it for exactly 1 second, then move it back to RESET. This should work like a charm, but may require one or two tries to get the right timing. See instructions below.
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$10 Fix:
Program a Pico/Arduino to do your 1 second ground for you.
$78 Fix:
Buy the real STLINK V2.
